Survival in the jungle

Day 1 and I survive..... barely. I woke up to a cloudy morning with no sun! It seemed fitting for there seemed no hope either. 

And yes. It is official. It is a totally of four years that I have cried on the first day of school.

And again the moment where you have to voluntary stand up at the top of your driveway and wait. You dry your tears so the bus driver won't question you. You try to squeak out a cheerful "Good morning!" and plop down in your seat hoping you didn't sound too sarcastic to give yourself away! You plug in the head phones and try to listen to the lyrics but are distracted in a sea of self pity and worries. You see the same people get on the bus, looking the exact same as school left them, yet secretly expecting them to have changed dramatically in two months. Once the building is in sight your stomach knots as you prepare yourself for the road ahead. Your friends will come later so you have to find your "acquaintances" and  pretend to be busy talking to them while checking the door every couple seconds wishing your actual friends will appeare. It is getting close to the morning assembly time and still no sight of your friends. The group you were with closes the gap so you awkwardly stand outside of the circle smiling and nodding. Finally the heads of five girls trample in the door way as you rush to fight against the oncoming traffic of people to great them. You hug and do other girly things. You find your homeroom and get that single sheet of paper that dictates whether your will have a stressful year or not: your timetable. You glance through it and complain and then hope your friends are in the same class. The bell rings and you rush to your first class. You sit nervously repeating to yourself "Its not too late to change!". You get to your next class late enough not to find a seat with your friends and sit next to someone who probably didn't want you to sit there. Lunch time comes. Your friends awkwardly stand in the doorway of the cafeteria deciding which table to sit at. You decide and eat. Next two class go fairly smoothly but you are tired, overwhelmed and have a head ach. 

I don't know what that citation was for... But anyway, that was my day. 

A summer night.

Alright,

This is the first entry of my summer and on my new iPad, ( still trying to figure out if it was a wise purchase or not!!) I am currently out in a tent in my backyard enjoying the moon and stars and the various music from the parties around the river. When I think about it, not much has happened on the (actual) river side. I have been enjoying my summers the way I know best: alone under the stars and writing unfinished novels. Well, I haven't been totally secluded from the world, I have had a few friends over! 

I wrote last when I had one last exam to write. Well it went well and then it was summer time. And that meant time for camp. It seems so far away now when I write about it, but those weeks went by so fast! I don't know if it was as "amazing" as last year, but I learned just as much I feel. I learned that I always will be learning from here on after. I was humbled and at times I had to sallow my pride and move on, I learned what it felt like to be really small (again being humbled!), I learned to trust God completely (whether it be for words or just to rely on Him), and I learned to see beauty in the broken. Every year I seem to learn exactly what's need to learn, especially for the upcoming year. 

And now it's that time of year again; the leaves are already turning colours on the maple tree and the "Back to School" sings are up in the stores. It's the time of year where I really struggle with my contentment. It's that time of year when I feel society is draining everything they can from me, (translate that to English: putting and end to my freedome). 

But I am learning. And I suppose I will still be learning. 

For now, however, I am enjoying these astronomical objects before me! A.k.a the moon and stars!